Does your family support homeschooling?
Well meaning family members often share their concerns with us when they hear about our homeschooling. Sometimes it's hard to know what to say. Mrs J shared her father-in-laws concerns in her post:
"I was telling my father-in-law the other day that J and I want to homeschool our kids. I know it is going to be hard sometimes, but I feel that is what I want for my kids.
He says that he sees my point but we pay taxes to the school system anyway why not use it? I think that is not his only concern, maybe the "social" aspect too."
I loved Bette's suggested response. She says, "As for paying for public school anyway, why not use it? We also pay for prisons, I don't want to send my child there to get my monies worth either."
Read more witty answers to other nagging questions in Shouldn't you be in School?
What about your family? Are they supportive? What are their concerns? Have you been able to set their minds at ease?
Comments
We have had mixed reactions. Most are supportive with some hestitations. I have one friend who is very negative in her opinion of homeschooling. We have agreed to disagree & basically don’t talk much about our schooling choices anymore.
What I have found is that you need to have your reasons clearly defined so that you can have a ready answer for those questioning your decision. This will be an added benefit to you on those days when things are tough & you feel like sticking them in school – simply because it’s easier.
Check out what I wrote about this topic at http://www.longingtobehome.blogspot.com
Our family was very unsupportive during our first year of HS. They constantly made comments about the girls not going to “real school”, which I would then correct them by reminding them that they are in real school and that you don’t have to go to PUBLIC school to have a real education. Eventually I placed a sign on our front door with our house rules regarding the girls education. on that sign there were some homeschool facts and statistics, as well as a gentle reminder that we are the parents and we do what we see fit with our children. Once in a while our grandmothers will say something, but I’ve learned to just let those things go. I surround myself with a wonderful network of other HS families and many of them have offered their guidance on the comments we receive. You have to stick to it, they are your children and you know what’s best for them. While I love my family dearly, my children and my husband are my top priorities.
We get a lot of unwanted, unasked-for advice from family and friends too. We have teachers in our family who teach in public schools. They say our son is not going to know how to make friends, know how to live in the ‘real world’, etc. But, we go to a homeschooling group once a week where he takes classes with 250 other homeschoolers and on the soccer team, in the bowling league and chess club. He is very popular and has a ton of friends. He is turning 12 this year and has discoverd the phone just like a ‘normal’ kid lol. He is ahead of where he should be in his classes. We test him. Our state has a high dropout rate and most do not go on to college. Yet, the teachers who teach there want me to put my child in that situation. The teachers here are overworked and underpaid. And I hate that. But, I just can’t see why they’d ask me to put my son in a public school here. My husband and I feel we are convited by God to homeschool our son. It’s more work and it’s more expensive.(Like you said, we pay taxes for the schools and don’t use them and we have to buy his homeschooling books plus pay for the homeschooling group and his classes there also.) But to us it’s well worth the sacrifice. The easy way would be to stick him on a bus at 6:30am and him come home at 4:30pm and work the rest of the night on homework because the teachers didn’t explain it. In essence, living where I do, kids go to school to get their assignments then go home to do them. Which most all of the parents end up having to help, especially in the lower grades. So, in short, what is happening is they are sending their children to a place to be babysat then they come home with a list of things to do and the parents homeschool them even though they don’t see it. For us, we just cut out the middle man (public schools) and do our school work in the day time so at night we can have family time and relax. I’m so glad I found your page. Keep up the good work and God bless y’all!
I think the statistics would show that children who take advantage of the free public schools are more likley to take advantage of the free prisons.
We are now on our second year of homeschooling, and the “comments” have kind of calmed down. Most of the family is supportive, as they understand that they are not going to change our minds no matter what they say!
It helps that both of our boys are extremely bright, happy, and glad to stay home for school. My oldest was in two years of preschool, and literally BEGGED us to keep him home the second year.
We just got into a good homeschool group this year, which I really recommend to any new homeschoolers. Through our group, the boys get to meet other kids who stay out of the public school systems, plus the get to do a lot of very fun activities.
Yes, it might cost a bit more to pay for all the functions and classes, but the kids get to do what interests them. To us that is a HUGE benefit, and it makes learning much more fun. If we can keep the love of learning open, our kids will have a lifetime of wonders ahead!
Thanks!
Michelle
I’m trying to be the supportive, non-meddling,
grandparent, but my family’s decision to homeschool came at the worst possible time.
With no one in the house working, & 3 kids school age….I’m more concerned with keeping you in a house! Don’t get me wrong it’s a noble idea, but just not NOW!
Hi ! very attractive and helpful site.
I know that homeschooling is not for everyone but there was a time when we has no choice. At one point if your children were to be educated it was 100% up to you to tackle the job. Once public education became the mainstream many people thought that only strange people wanted to homeschool their children. I homeschooled my children when I could and sent them to public school when I had to. They learned better in the home environment ,having much more attention when it was needed. All 3 of my children told me that they enjoyed public school because they were allowed to get away without putting forth much effort and that allowed them more time for goofing off with the other children.
Now I am the Grandmother of 4 bright grandsons, ages 17 months, 6 years, 8 years and 9 years. The 3 eldest began in public school and their report cards did not reflect what we knew they were capable of doing. The school suggested that they each be put on ritalin and the doctors agreed yet they still made much lower grades than they should have made. These boys each have multiple health issues and were hospitalized at least once a year. My daughter and I decided to remove them from public school and work together to bring them up to the point they belonged at their ages. In the begining it was difficult because they thought they could get away with doing little or no work but it changed in a few months. These 3 boys have 5 teachers,Granny, Mom , Aunt, Uncle and Grandpa. We teach them many things that are above the intellect of most children their age. My soon to be ex son-in-law seems to think that he can get by without paying child support or exercising his visitation because his 6 year old is being homeschooled. He threatens my daughter with taking full custody of his children because now that they are divorcing he (and his new girlfriend) feel that she is “abusing him” by homeschooling. When the decision was first made to begin homeschool, he was all for it and probably pushed the idea harder than anyone. He claims to have a lawyer telling him that the children HAVE TO BE PUBLIC SCHOOLED! We know that he is spouting B.S.
He can’t afford to keep his electric bill paid , he hasn’t kept a job for more than 3 weeks at a time in the past year. He hasn’t paid childsupport in more than 8 months. He didn’t visit the kids for Christmas or send them a card. When the older boys father brought gifts to them, the 6 year old started making excuses for his father. He said that his Dad lived further away and It will take longer for him to arrive.
How can a “man” that cares so little for is children act like he is worried that the mother is unable to teach the child for the first 6 or 7 years of schooling?
I am not homeschooled, and I don’t have a familly member who is, but I just want to let out my opinion.
I am a public school freshman (9th grader) who knows some homeschooled kids.I go to Washington, DC’s school system and have since pre-K, I have to say that I enjoy it.
I love all these comments! I was homeschooled, as are my two brothers. The comments were always about about the social “benefit” of public school, but my brothers have tons of friends, and I have more now than I ever did at public school. Plus, if you are in a family that moves around a lot, like the military, it saves on uprooting your children every few years. I did that in my early school years, and it sucks!
It’s difficult to explain to others exactly why we chose to homeschool our youngest son. There are many, many reasons. We have two older sons who are “products” of the public school system and they’re the least supportive.
Now Obama wants children in school longer to help them compete? This is not the real intention. I know from our family in Germany and friends in Austria, the children go to school from 8am to 1pm and they’re so far ahead of our children it’s shocking.
When I investigated more about the system of education and ran across some videos I found to be mind opening.
This video really does “shock and awe” it’s especially amazing where the textbooks come from. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4047200255828258430#
Lately, the youtube videos and books from Charlotte Iserbyt, a senior policy advisor for the US dpt of Ed during Reagan and John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher of 30 yrs, are added to my reasons why we homeschool. Just search for their videos on youtube or google their names, they have websites too.
Hold fast and don’t give up due to lack of support. Being unique in this world gives our children the edge they need to be successful in the “real world” , not being a copy of another.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. Jiddu Krishnamurti