When a homeschool mom dies...
Friday October 17, 2008
We've lost a dear homeschooling friend this week. Donna Thompson, mother of 3, passed away today after a battle with cancer. She will be greatly missed. Please keep her family in your prayers.
When my children were young, I worried about what would happen to them if I died. I was concerned about them losing their mother and then also being thrown into an unknown school situation. I spoke to a close friend about it and made arrangements for her to take over homeschooling my children if anything happened to me.
What are your thoughts? Have you considered making arrangements for homeschooling to continue if something happened to you?
Comments
My condolences on the loss of your friend. In answer to your question, my husband and I have discussed this. Death is very real to our family. Our firstborn daughter died 5 years ago, 72 hours after being diagnosed with a brain tumor.
We have decided that if I died that he would take the insurance money and pay for our younger children to attend a private Christian school that most closely resembles our homeschooling philosophy (classical). We have decided that our older daughter is close enough to the end of her high school education that she would continue to homeschool until graduation.
It is sad to think about, but best to talk about it while you are in the frame of mind to do it. Making major life decisions while grieving is not a good idea.
I am so soory to hear about your friends passing. My thoughts and prayers our with the family. I was just thinking about this topic this week. I guess with so much talk about breast Cancer and my Mom dying a year ago It came to mind.I have been homeschooling our youngest going on five years. I am thankful to have found this web sight.have a blessed day
I’m “SVS” for your loss. But, I once recently heard this: “Think on the happy times you shared when she was alive, not the day she passed”. After all, I think (it’s just what I believe) She would want it that way.
As far as the other goes, I would definately continue on & I know my spouse would as well. He would find a way to do so. H/S it’s a life style choice that we made together & even if one of us isn’t present anymore, it’s still the choice we both made together to better our children.
I’m sorry for your loss, Beverly. Thank you for the important reminder to prepare for the unexpected. Should something happen to me, my children would attend a local private school that my husband and I both like.
I am sorry for your loss, Beverly. I guess I am not alone when I say that my constant prayer has been that I live to see my children grown and able to do for themselves. My oldest is about to go to college in the fall and my younger ones are still too young to fend for themselves academically (8-13). The plan is, if something happened to me, my children would go to my husband’s family overseas and attend private school that uses US curriculum. There I know they will be well loved and cared for by my sister-in-law (I have no family that could care for them while my husband works). It’s scary to contemplate. I will keep your friend’s family in my prayers. Be well.
Beverly, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve been thinking about this subject since my own Mother passed away last month. I will begin working on a plan, in case something would happen to me. I love this website. Thank you for sharing this and encouraging us to plan for the unexpected!
I am very sorry about your friend. Thank you for the reminder that plans need to be made. I wish I didn’t have to say it, but we have not made any plans for the unexpected. I have taught my children at home for the last 7 years and they have never been in a public school. We wouldn’t have the money for a private school, and my husband’s top priority is work. So as scary as it is, my children might have to be thrown into the unknown if I don’t come up with a plan to change that.
I am praying for this family now. I have made jokes with my husband about “what would this family do without me….” But your story has made me realize that I need not be joking and I need to thank God daily for the time I have with my family. I am also so thankful that my husband allows me to stay home and watch my kids grow. I guess we need to have a serious talk about what to do if anything happened to me. I like the idea of using my insurance policy to pay for a Charlotte Mason school for my children. I also know that my parents would probably be there to help my husband in whatever they could. They see the value in homeschooling.
We will be praying for all of you. May God grant you peace through this time.
I have thought about the ‘Mommy Death’ a lot lately after being put into ICU after the still birth of our last child. You come to realize through an experience like that, that no things are certain, and nothing is in your control. The greatest lesson learned is one of trust in the Father, that some how with him everything will be ok, eventually, and that he holds us when we are to weak to stand.
As far as plans, I have not made arrangements yet, but know that I would like the children to continue to be home schooled, but am open to one school in this area. It is very scary to think about leaving our children behind for someone else to care for, but I think we all must do it, so that hasty decisions are not being made while everyone is grieving.
Again, know that you will be in our prayers, and on our hearts. God Bless YOU!
Sorry to hear about your friend, although it wouldn’t be an ideal situation, my mother would take over. Mom, doesn’t have the patience that I have, so it would be a transition, she did the homeschooling until I got my medicatl bills paid, and then I took over.
I am sorry for you loss as a friend and the families loss of a mother and wife. Both and my husband and I have discussed this. He travels very frequently for his job. In the event of my death, he said, that he would have to take the children with him (not the most feasible) or either find something locally. In the event, of both of our deaths
, I have spoken to my sister about caring for the children. She admitted that she could and would not be able to homeschool because it would be too overwhelming for her. She said, she could try if I wanted her to, but I granted her permission to take care of them as best she could.
What a tragedy for that family. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of them.
When a dear homeschooling mom passed away about 18 months ago, the local homeschool community came together to show what it means to be the body of Christ. Families provided meals for three nights a week for over a year, their amazing dad hired a tutor to come 1/2 days Monday through Friday and several homeschool families have had the opportunity to love those precious children every afternoon since that time. What a testimony to our own kids of what it means to put other’s needs before our own. You can’t begin to provide that educational experience through any other vehicle!
My condolences also go out to the family, I wil pray for you. I can really identify with the situation since although I was not homeschooled as a child, I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was 8. It was a terrible situation for my dad and my young sister who was 6 at the time and my baby brother who was 3 and I, 8 years old. We went through a lot emotionally through our childhood and teen years and as adults still go through moments of depression. Not having a mother through those crucial years does hurt and continues to hurt. It’s important that when this does happen, make sure you give lots and lots of love to the children and remind them that they are number one to in your life. My faith and therapy has helped me very much to cope with the situation.
Now I am 28, and homeschooling my 2 children and I try to give my children what I didn’t have as a child. I’m not talking about material things but give them my time to talk and listen to them, play with them and just make sure I do my best to put them first in my life. I try not to let this system of things and the rush that goes with it, steal time from my kids and myself.
It is good to talk about the situation before it does happen. We hate to think about death, but if we can make some arrangements just in case it does happen, then it should be done. Everyday convinces me of how homeschooling has been the best decision. It gives me time to see my children grow and helps me to appreciate the moments we are together. May all of you enjoy you journey living and learning with your children and other family members.
Carissa
Puerto Rico
A mother in one of our local homeschooling groups died this summer in an auto accident. It was a great shock and sadness to all of us as well as a reminder for us to plan ahead!! Most of all, several other homeschool moms came together to help the family in any way, including assisting with education, meals, affection and nurturing, and keeping mom’s memory alive. I will make a pact with some of my friends that we will do this for one another. Thanks for the reminder…
My condolences as well for the loss of your friend.
I’ve discussed the issue with my DH and also with my parents (who would be guardians if God forbid something happened to both me and DH). The plan would be to use the life insurance money to pay for private school for our kids. It isn’t ideal, but sometimes we need to just make the best of a bad situation.
My sympathies w/ her family and children. As believers in Jesus Christ we actually gain. We gain eternal life and in the presence of our Lord forever. It doesn’t lessen the pain and sadness we feel when someone we love dies. Praying that God will bring peace and comfort to your family.
I have not made arrangement for my death, if that should happen. I have 2 children whom my husband could not homeschool if I passed on. God will figure that all out if that should happen. Everything works for our good for those who love God.
Michelle
I am sorry for the the death of your friend. Please convey my condolences to the family. My husband and I discussed this when my oldest son was two. My life insurance policy covers enough for private Christian school education and a money to hire a housekeeper to clean and cook. This would allow my children and husband to maintain some type of normal life. If we both were to die, my children would move to live with my parents. Our estate would go to pay for private Christian school and allow my parents to add on to their home to accommodate my children. If my husband were to die, we would sell this home and move to be closer to my parents. I would work and rearrange our school situation to take place at night.
my heart and prayers go out to you and the family . i am faced with the question of death everyday. i have beed relocated several times since hurricaine katrina battled cervical cancer and tias and recently been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis we are far away from family and dont know anyone i constantly work to keep our childrens records in order so that they will be able to continuie theeir education in case i cant. my prayers and heart is very full right kow knowing that you and herfamily has to endure such pain and uncertainty but i do know this in my heart GOD will take care of allyour needs spiritual and otherwise and he will bring you through this and you are all better people for hving GOD bring donna in to your lives she has touched you and is conituing to touch everyone through you as i feel a blessing with her beautiful spirit in the presence of you may GOD continuie to bless you as you continuie the work GOD has started in DONNA i can feel it defintely flowing through all of you GOD bless you
Our condolences go out to you and all those who loved your friend. Like Bridget, I too have Multiple Sclerosis and have had to consider the fact that severe disability or even death may lead to the issue of what would my daughter do. My husband has a hard time talking about it…he would not be able to continue homeschooling. One of our ideas is for her to enter school with her cousin that is the same age so that at least she has her for support. I really like the idea of the private school option too. Either way, all any of us can do is to pray that God will continue to guide us in our desire to bring our children up in the way he desires.
As for this dear mom, Donna Thompson,and her loved ones, may God’s blessings always be with them all.I wish for her eternal peace. God bless you all for being so considerate of this mom and her children. May His blessings continue to ‘reign’ over you all. What wonderful caring people you are. I am just so sorry that I couldn’t meet her. Thank you for sharing this information about her. Remember this, What shall we then say to these things? If GOD be for us, WHO can be against us? – Romans 8:31 The Lord daily loadeth us with BENEFITS, even the GOD of our salvation. Selah. – Psalm 68:19 Peace!
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I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Please send our condolences on to her family and we will continue to pray for them.
hi that is very sad
to here that
i am thinking about the family and friends of her
bye
I’m so impressed with the way the homeschool community gathers around the family of a home school mom who dies. I am a homeschooling grandmother. Only the Lord knows what He would do for the grandkids if I were to die. We aren’t in any kind of homeschool cooperative. It seems that we need more of those. The ones in our area are in high demand and therefore a bit exclusive. I’m too busy to start one myself.
May the Lord comfort and guide the grieving family of Donna.
My thoughts and prayers are with the family and dear friends. I too am a mom of three. Next year I will be homeschooling our oldest. I too have had to fight with cancer…a few times. I know I should have a plan…maybe I will start thinking of one. This was a good thing to discuss…I wouldnt have considered it otherwise…thanks.
How sad and tragic. This must be so tough. My husband and I have discussed this and we would hope that he would “retire” and continue to homeschool our kids. As a mom of 3 young kids, (4,6, &
it is hard to imagine. Thanks for sharing. The Lord gave me direction to your web page today…I was getting very frustrated and feeling over burdened.In fact, I was feeling a bit of “why do I have to deal with all this all the time??” Thanks for the perspective.
I am very sorry about your friend.
While I do not in anyway, agree with homeschooling. I have a very dear friend who does/did homeschooling for 7 years and her husband passed away this summer, and she is struggling financialy and is mostlikely going to put her kids in school and is going to start working soon.
This is also something to think about and nobody mentioned it yet on here. If the bread winner passes away what plans do you have to support yourself and still homeschool your children. In my friends case there was no insurance plan or savings of any kind.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss.
I was a single homeschool mom and my biggest fear was for something to happen to me. My son is now an adult.
I was blessed to marry again. We’re homeschooling a grandchild my husband was able to take custody of.
We’ve been trying to plan. We were told that if something would happen to us the would go back to her parents.
So, my prayer is again, Lord please let us live until the child doesn’t need us.