Endurance
The act, quality, or power of withstanding hardship or stress: The state or fact of persevering: Continuing existence; duration.
The past few weeks (and months and years for that matter) have been incredibly busy for us here at the Huy house. We have gotten very little sleep and very little time to just “enjoy” our life lately. With funerals, work deadlines, ministry responsibilities, you know the deal. There have been few nights that Tony and I have gotten more than 3-4 hours sleeps and once or twice NO sleep.
The lack of sleep makes me as a mom of course very cranky and me as a wife to have little patience. I have been especially worried for Timothy as he always shows the most effects from our crazy life. I have also felt bad him for the life that has been chosen for him… the other day I was running in a million directions then took him to baseball practice. The little ones were asleep so I stayed in the car and sent off my little trooper. I was able to watch Timothy from far away and I saw the accomplishments he made during practice… but he didn’t know I saw them. There was no one to smile at him, no one to clap, no one to cheer him on. It broke my heart to see my little guy walking back to the car with his glove in his hand and a bat on his shoulder… all alone.
I feel so stuck. I am unable to be everywhere at once, already I had cooked half a dinner for the guests that were coming in 30 min after practice, I was in a million different places at once and yet in it all I KNEW that I wasn’t in the place that really mattered... and yet I didn’t know how to get to that place for my son. I kept asking the Lord over and over, is this REALLY what YOU have for us? Is THIS what you’re calling us to?
Our life hits the maximum point every few months and I always end a session of this with a trip out of town, an escape or just bailing out on everyone for a week. We’re in the middle of making major changes in our life… but in the mean time… God is calling me to REMAIN, ENDURE, PERSEVERE, CONTINUE.
I was sitting in a worship service calling out to God and telling him how I just couldn’t even take a breath or one more step unless HE did it. And that’s when it clicked. The next song was This is My Daily Bread, this is the air I breath. I discovered that I am exactly where He wants me. He’s not taking the chaos away, he asking me to find all my strength to continue in HIM. He asking me to carry on and do it well because I can do all things through HIM who strengthens me.
I woke up this morning and read in my devotional – “He who began a good work in you is faithful to complete it”
I then went to My Utmost for His Highest Journal for May 1st – Insight Not Emotion – I have to lead my life in faith without seeing Him” “We must never make our moments of inspiration our standard; our standard is our DUTY.”
I am not to pray to be less busy, I shouldn’t pray it all away. I should pray for endurance, pray that He would be my strength for each breath, pray that I might learn to find ALL my strength in Him and not run from the things He’s calling me to.
I’m excited that God is moving in my life, I’m excited that He’s speaking to me. I pray for strength to remain. I pray for the faith to trust God that He knows what He’s doing, cuz at times I’m scared to death for my kids.
Please pray.
- Julee Huy
Comments
Is that really the way you see it? That you have to endure the extreme busy-ness that we tend to put on ourselves as mothers, wives and servants? God also allows for rest and peace, things that we often miss out on because we piled not just one, but two, three…even four more things on our already full plates. I think it is sometimes our arrogance and pride that gets us into these messes, not God. We think we have to do it all. No one else can do it as well as we can. (Not even God?) Believe me, if God wants something done, it will get done in spite of anything we do or don’t do. If other moms, wives, etc. are looking at you and being discouraged because they are not doing as much as you are, there is a problem. You don’t have to be SuperMom to do God’s will. Being industrious is great, but not at the expense of your time with your precious children and your husband. You must nurture them and yourself. Children need some schedule in their lives as well as plenty of downtime to grow and explore. Too much structured activity may hinder their growth physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Julee, your desire to please God is admirable and endearing. As the wife of a man that was formerly in the ministry, though, and as an “older woman”, I just have to share a few things I learned the hard way. I’m not going to say much because the pressure to perform as a minister’s wife, the confusion that prevails about what “working for God” and “giving our whole heart to God” entails, and the almost overpowering desire to please people that most of us women possess, make the chances of you jumping out of the hectic life you’ve described (and that I lived for years) very slim. My heart is with you, though, and I’ll pray for you to have the extreme courage it would take. I’d just encourage you to examine the scriptures and read some books like The Worn Out Woman, Bounderies, The Hurried Child, (not sure if that’s the exact title), or 2 I haven’t read but sound good) When People are Big & God is Small, or The Disease to Please.
Basically, the almost irresistable temptation is to see “serving others” as more spiritual or as “truly working for God” instead of the FULL-TIME job God gives us when we’ve chosen to marry and have children. Titus 2:4-5 says we should be “busy AT HOME” …that is our ministry…taking the time to talk, play with, take care of, and just be with our children…they interpret time as love and won’t be as able to hear the lessons we’re trying to teach them about God if we’re always on the phone, or in a Bible study, or rushing to make dinner for guests or get to a myriad of meetings or services. It is much harder to devote most of your time to your children and loving your husband…you don’t get the immediate gratification you get when your counsel helps some one or you help somebody become a Christian(not that you won’t, but it won’t be as many as if you were single). Our work with our children will pay off later.
Another scripture that helped me to start saying no to more commitments and stepping out of most I already had, was 1 Thess.4:11 that tells us to make it our ambition to lead a quiet life. America and often even the church tell us the opposite…more work, more busyness makes you worthwhile and valuable…God says, “Be still and know that I am God”. We are trying to imitate Jesus but not his role as a single man in the ministry…God says our “job” while we’re raising our kids is to be busy at home. Let the “older women” whose children have left home do the job God gives them of teaching the younger women. Let other women step in to fill your shoes in leading, teaching, and providing hospitality…we stunt their spiritual growth if we never let them rise up and serve. If you’re a control-freak like me it’s really hard to let others take over but it can equate to obeying God’s commands to us!
Your fear for your family is valid…please make a promise to God to get at least 7 or 8 hours of sleep a night so you can even think clearly to implement His Word in this situation. Remember, insecurity is the other huge sin women struggle with and say no to the guilt you’ll feel when you’re doing “less in the ministry” but actually doing God’s will for you. I know you can do it, Julee, for God, your husband, your children, and you’ll even be able to help the women you know to get out of the same trap(but don’t forget that isn’t your purpose!!smile)!
I’ll be praying for you!
Warmly,
Elise